I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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