we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
