brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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