Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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