He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
People in love make me want to vomit
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
