If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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