dude i'm inner monologue high
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
