At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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