So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
