Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
