I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you win again, gameday.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
