Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That accounts for only three of the penises
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
