You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
