after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
