That reminds me...we need to get swords
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
