In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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