if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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