I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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