3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
