Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize