his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
