Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
