brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
