sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
