new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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