the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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