She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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