well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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