those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
