i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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