He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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