no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
