Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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