Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize