is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
