maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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