I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
