Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
