Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
