in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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