doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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