why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just found a bag of teeth...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
