Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
