around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
