was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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