I wish my penis had an off switch
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
