Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
