The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
