I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
