Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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